SEX TOY PARTY

lol, i had so much fun last night when i didn't even think i was gonna. i went to a sex toy party with my friend Ledis. i got some pics for your enjoyment.


















^ this is one of me with a vibrating tongue....very interesting...look at that bitch in the background...wtf u lookin at bitch?



this is my friend Ledis, im attempting to whack her upside the head but the way the pic looks is so much sweeter...lmao



HAHA...Ledis tryin on the strap on, she screamed so loud when she turned the vibrator on, still tryin to figure if that's a good or bad thing...lol

ok ok so it seems a lil weird but i had so much fun, i am thinking of throwing one now, they are free to host and you get commission if people buy stuff, lemme see if i could round up some freaks, shouldn't be too hard! lol

the rest of weekend was good, Billy stayed with us and he didn't act too much like an asshole so maybe he'll be able to come next weekend too, i dunno know yet, we have OZZFEST on the 13th soo i know he'll be staying with us that weekend. 3 weekends in a row is a bit much...we'll see.

ugh, good weekend = baaad case of the MONDAYS tomorrow...

NIP TUCK gone all wrong!!!!

Welp, i saw my punkins dad yesterday. He has kidney failure and is on Dialysis. Im not very good in these kinds of situations. I never know what to say, and thats hard, ya know, its my boyfriends father and could very well be my father in law one day. So we sit down and start talking, he starts to tell me all about dialysis and how it works.

Eddies dad is diabetic, has high blood pressure and had gastric bypass done about 3 years ago. there are only certain things you can eat. the hospital he was at to have the tube put into his jugular vein in his neck kept giving him things he couldn't have to eat. His doctor once told him if he ever wanted to kill himself, drink a V8 and he would black out. well the hospital knows what he is and isn't allowed to have and they bring him mashed potatoes, greens and TOMATO SOUP! i mean if he wasn't a smart man to know that he couldn't have these things he would be dead. the hospital was also not watching his blood pressure and gave him his blood pressure medicine when it was already at 60. 70-80 is normal and anything below 50 you can black out and become unconscious. hes takes the medicine and goes in the bathroom to take a bath. while sitting in the tub his blood pressure drops dramatically and he blacks out. Nurses and doctors rush in to help him outta the tub, they end up banking him into some furniture and tear his rotator cuff in his shoulder, the same damn arm that they out the tube in. not to mention they cut him open without giving him ANY anesthetic. just local anesthetic. i mean COME ON PEOPLE!!!! this poor man, i just can't believe his spirits are still high.

i can only pray that i live a healthy life!!!!!

SURVEY

Yesterday and Today

Ten years ago: i was 11. going into middle school and had a couple friends but they weren't going to my school and my best friend moved to Texas.

Five years ago: i was 16. in 11th grade in high school, started dating my first real boyfriend. Shit for me started getting fucked up at this point, i realized that my parents weren't just drinking they were also doing drugs and they were doing it with my boyfriend. I found out a year and a half into the relationship and after finding out he also cheated on me i dumped my boyfriend. Started hangin out with friends more and learnin more and more about life.

One year ago: i had moved out of the hell hole i called my home and was living with my best friend kittie and her family, one year ago today i found out that she and her boyfriend had HIV. This came just two months after her father died unexpectedly and i started to go into a serious depression.

Yesterday: i worked a full 11 hours, 3 hours i am not getting paid for cuss im salary and when i got home i just relaxed, smoked, ate a lot, and slept!

Today: working........Ugh. but the sex this morning was good and put me in a good mood. so im just gettin ready to eat some lunch and get thru the rest of the day.

Tonight: same routine, smoke, eat, watch t.v and go to sleep.....ahhh...sleeeeeep.

Tomorrow: is only Wednesday and i don't want to bore you with the same ol shit.

what would you do if you woke up dead?

i know that my title is stupid, cuss you can't wake up if you are dead. today at lunch we were talking about a coworkers sister. the coworker T, is a year older than me and her sister is married and about 28. her sister just had to undergo a DNC to get rid of a twin babies she was pregnant with. they were only 8 weeks and their hearts simply stopped beating. this has happened to her 3 other times in two years. i almost cried when i found out because T's younger sister who is my age is 6 months pregnant and the baby is doing well. what an awful event for her family to go through when having another child about to be born. i often wonder what happens to these babies that are only in the womb. i wonder if God has other plans for them or if its just not their time to enter our world. sometimes i wonder if its a blessing, and others i feel awful about the thought of saying its a blessing. do they die? or are they really never alive to our world and they just are taken by God for His reasons...who really knows...its just one of the mysteries. babies are such miracles when you think about all they and we as women have to go through to get them into the world and then to keep them healthy and safe. my boss has a 1 year old daughter who i just melt over everytime she comes in. i never wanted kids because i have a strange (and by strange i mean not-normal) relationship with my parents and felt like i would do the same to my child. even more the fear of loving them sooo much and then at 13 they hate you and 18 they leave you and then you have no choice but to let go. my brain was very confused until i moved out of my parents house and started in the work force. now i have to say i do want children, not right away, but someday. i know i won't be like my parents because i wouldn't want any child to go through what my brother and i still go through on a daily basis....i can only pray i have everything it takes and will be able to handle the responsibilities....HA i can't even remember to change my oil every 3000 miles....theres a great parent!

fuckin parents

i started this blog to discuss what goes on in my office during lunch. we have the most interesting conversations. today it was more about my family. i have been working here since i was 17. its pretty ironic how things went together. i wanted to leave eary when i was in high school, they called it OJT(on the job training) but i ended up doing this internship thing. first i was at an elementary school cuss ive always wanted to be a teacher. after a while i really needed a job so my teacher hooked me up. ive been there ever since.

Anyways, about lunch. My mom just got arrested for possesion, her first offense but her and my dad are both addicts. i consider my dads problem worse cuss ive been around to see him wanting it and my mom refusing. she has to go to a drug program for a year and it just started. they are still drinkin almost every night and it really drives me insane. the people that i work with are the only ones besides my amazing boyfriend that i can talk to about it. they call me all hours drunk and high wanting to tell me about the other one. sometimes i wish i could just stop talking to them, so my new way to deal is to tell them, flat out, "DON'T CALL ME IF YOU HAVE BEEN DRINKING AND DON'T CALL ME UNLESS YOU HAVE SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE TO TELL ME!!!"

psh, im sure that won't work, but i have to try something. the roles are reversed in my parents house. me and my bro(who is 15) are like the parents and they the children. im only 21, i don't need 2 "adult" children!!! i can only try to hold my head up.

work sucks!

Today is only Teusday! ugh.... i really wish i could have one of those stay at home jobs. one that wouldn't require me to get pressured everyday! its not really the job that bothers me, its the fact that i am so behind on my work because my boss got pregnant in 2004 and when she went on leave in May 2005 we all had to drop our things and work on hers. now, a year later we are still behind by a couple of months and my big boss (her dad) gets very upset. its sad, cuss i wish i could get caught up on all my work, but there is always something that comes up thats more important than what i am working on, nothing gets finished and nothing gets caught up. im only one person and can only do so much. i try the best i can without getting totally work crazy. i mean i take a break here and there to cool my brain, but i feel like i have to, ya know. i work 9-6 mon-fri and am tired come 6 o'clock, i only wanna go home. whatever, im just venting.

1st post ever

So, this is my first blog. WOO-HOO! now, i am a blog stalker and love to read about others lives so i hope someone out there likes to read about all the stupid shit that will be written about. a little backround about me....well, i just turned 21 years old and work in a small office. i've been here for about three and a half years and am getting a degree online, ahem well, i hope to start getting a degree soon. see i am very lazy and really hate school so its hard for me to even think about going back. ONE DAY SOON! I really don't have much to say today except that i have a bad case of the MONDAYS and can't wait until 6 so that i can go home to my baby. i have a very loving boyfriend who i will refer to as 'cutie' and we are just too happy together. pictures will come soon! hope yall enjoy!!!