postpone

remember when i said i wanted to ask Eddie to marry me? well, im, uh, postponing it. ive have started to realize i was trying to rush it. i should just let things take their course. i think im feeling one of those life altering things coming on....do you ever get that feeling? like you start to get paranoid about all kinds a stupid shit? Seans death isnt helping....

i work for an accounting firm. Booooooooorrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnngggggggggggg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OK! i will be there for four years in January. Honestly, i really don't like what i do, i do it for the money and because the family i work for has done alot for me. I know there is money in accounting and everybody told me to stick with it. I was going to start online courses for business administration, but i keep postpoing it. ive started to see that i keep putting it off cuss i don't want to do this. i have always wanted to be a teacher. i love kids. i always planned on goin to school for elementary education but my job and finances kinda slowed that process down.

final desicion.....life is too short to to do something you hate...do what you love. i am going to go back to school for education and if anything i will always have the backround in accounting.

as far as things with Eddie, i am trying to just be happy with the now and not worry too much about the future. if we get married .....great...if we have children.....wonderful....but we are still young and i shouldn't rush it.

i just start to analyse things too much.....it gets me all worked up.... for nothing. whatever, im just gonna play it by year.